


Tagged: #myneighbors

by AKA_Green



Series: Team America [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Slice of Life, Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:18:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7639891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKA_Green/pseuds/AKA_Green
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>cantfeelmyFEET:</p><p>Somebody is finally cleaning up that shithole next to my house. New neighbors? Imma take some cookies later, that's neighborly to do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tagged: #myneighbors

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU CAN TELL ME HOW TO FORMAT THIS LIKE A TUMBLR POST I WILL DEDICATE THIS TO YOU I STG

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Somebody is finally cleaning up that shithole next to my house. New neighbors? Imma take some cookies later, that's neighborly to do?

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Yep, neighbors. It's a group of three, idk but i think two are siblings, but i didn't ask. They loved the cookies, so win

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Not siblings, NOT SIBLINGS, THEY’RE MAKING OUT ON THEir PORCH

      THE GIRL IS IN THE BLONDES LAP WITH HER BOOBS NEAR HIS FACE AND SHE’S KISSING THE FUCK OUT OF THE OTHER GUY, BLONDE IS RED AS A TOMATO

      ABORT ABORT

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Update: it's a polyamorous couple, so that explains a lot, good for them not sure i’m getting over seeing that hot mess on the porch before the blonde managed

      to get everybody inside

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      The neighbor (male burnette) JUST fucKING JUMPED OFF THE ROOF AND the girl CAUGHT HIM

      HE WAS FIXING THE ROOF, AND THEN HE WAS DONE SO HE JUST WENT ‘HEY BABE! CATCH ME!” AND JUMPED AND SHE CAUGHT HIM I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA DIE

      SHE JUST CAUGHT HIM LIKE IT WAS NBD

      And he WAS JUST LIKE ‘THANKS DOLL’.

      What THE FUCK

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      hey, the house looks really good now. Guess it really was cosmetic stuff. The paint makes it look a lot better the neighbors painted it white and blue, navy blue.

      The red furniture and flowers make it  kinda looks like a really blue american flag tho

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Ok guys, you know the neighbors i mentioned a while ago, right? The poly couple?

      We’ll theres prob more to them than what i thought, they’re weird AF.

      A big ass trampoline arrived yesterday and They don’t even have kids. the dudes r playing on it. Grown ass men on a fucking trampoline.

      Those adults are having a goddamn blast

      i think all three are eating lunch on it right now too. Relationship goals.

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Update: they’re building something on the roof of their house, idk what

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      I found out what the neighbors were building

      So here's what happened:

      A couple of my friends and i were playing soccer outside and the ball went over the fence into the neighbor's yards. Right?

      Well, i go over and am just about to pick up the ball and a fucking nerf dart hits me square in the forehead

      I am clearly startled and jump like a million feet in the air. Looking up, I see the one with only one arm with a nerf rifle in his **brand new sniper nest** .

      He does the ‘im watchin you’ motion and I get TF out of there cuz what the _hell_

      Just as i get over i see the blonde one bring out a tray of food and go up the ladder on the side of the house and give the dude lunch

      They are so fucking weird

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      The funniest shit just happened i stg

      I went outside to get my mail and kinda watched the poly neighbors be weird for a min

      So the two dudes were having a water war, water balloons, super soakers, whole fucking nine yards.

      Then they ran around the side of the house with the super soakers,   started spraying each other and swearing vengeance and shit, laughing

      They look so goddamn happy, ( relationship goals)

      **But Then**

      They got the girls feet and/or legs wet. She was reading on the porch, sun glasses, iced tea, barefoot, sun dress and everything, chill af

      The men just

 **Freeze** very suddenly,  like deer caught in headlights

      the girl looks up, reached down to the side of her chair very slowly as the men start to back away, and then

_She blasts em both in the face with a goddamned superpowered hose_

      It knocks them off their feet and they  both fall over and just kinda lay in the grass like she killed em

      I started fucking laughing i couldn’t help it, what the hell

      She looked over and smiled at me, pleased af, no lie, i was a little scared

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      They had a nerf battle all down the street,

      hundreds of rounds of styrofoam are on the street right now, bunches of guns scattered about, and a crate full of those darts was at their door

      Apparently, a friend had sent it

      Anyway, a bunch of kids joined in at some point and all i could do was kinda watch in horror as the street was filled with darts

      Never ever give war vets nerf guns they take it way too seriously

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      It's the fourth of july and one of em’s birthday. They had a cookout and now they’re watching fireworks from the sniper nest. I think i see sparklers and maybe a cake

      They have friends over too, im pretty sure one of em is pepper potts.

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Update: iron man arrived with something

      Now i'm confused. Why is iron man and pepper potts chilling with

      Oh, oh shit

      Oh Shit wtf

      omg help i think i'm dying

 

cantfeelmyfeet:

      I have calmed down after screaming into my pillow, apparently my neighbors are the famous trio of captain america the winter soldier and agent carter. the original ot3

      They had a water war

      Peggy carter sprayed them with a hose so hard they fell over and chose to lay down for a while

      Bucky Barnes shot me with a nerf dart and jumped off the roof of his house into carters arms

      They're fucking NERDS FrOM THE 40’S

      I'm so ANGRY rn i don't even know why!?

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Ok apparently I got 2357 more follows from that, so thanks

      Also, i'm not telling u where i/they live because that's an invasion of privacy and not cool man

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Half of those new follows unfollowed me, well

      EXCUSE ME FOR BEING A DECENT HUMAN BEING. GODDAMN RIGHT I DON’T WANT YOU TO FOLLOW ME IF UR TRYING TO INVADE OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIVACY

 

cantfeelmyFEET:

      Apparently i’ve gone viral and it concerns me a lot, but Captain America came over to thank me so i’m pretty chill rn except i'm internally dying because

      omg he shook my hand. Peggy carter smiled at me and i'm honestly surprised i didn’t pass out

      If i wasn't gay before i woulda been at that point she is the most amazing thing i've ever looked at

      Bucky barnes promised not to shoot me again i'm counting today as a win


End file.
